The most beautiful woman I ever met had dark, age wrinkled skin. She was dying. Her face glowed. It was like something from another world. Her joy made her the most beautiful creature I have ever encountered.
The girls were on the front porch this morning, watching a fuzzy catepillar. “Will it be a butterfly?” they wonder. “A butterfly or a moth,” their Daddy replies. I think: What’s the difference? Both undergo miraculous transformation, both fly. The girls had a book at some point that outlined the fine differences- but I forget now what they were.
I am a moth. I fly, but it ain’t pretty. I am round and mostly jolly. I am disorganized. My act is rarely together. I appreciate beauty, but fill my world with the ordinary (and clutter). I know women who are more beautiful, skinnier, better educated, more organized, have nicer homes, or even just seem to be better at this life thing.
They are no happier then I am. We all struggle with the same insecurities. We often are on the same quest for the formula for perfection: the right meal plan, best workout, diet, cleaning method, design style- you name it. We are convinced that if we just get everything right, we’ll be________________ (happy, loved,righteous, you fill in the blank).
I realized recently that it is ok to be fat and happy. If I laugh, tell stories and entertain: people laugh with me, they enjoy my company- but I have not established a deep friendship. If I smile, listen, and show empathy: people talk to me. Sometimes they share their deepest hurts. If I am preoccupied, worried about what others think, and shy: people are more guarded with me. If I lack friends- it has very little to do with size, and more with my behavior. The realization that being skinnier will not make me more loved or accepted was freeing. I felt MORE motivated to get up and work out this morning, because it was something I was doing for me, for my health, and not because it will make people like me more.
There will always be butterflies. People who soar above us and we look to them because they are especially gifted or self disciplined in some area. Praise God for butterflies! Mostly though, are the moths- who little by little, day by day, continue steadfastly with what they are given- and in our small dyings-how forth the truly Glorious One.
1 And you, who once were alienated and enemies in your mind by wicked works, yet now He has reconciled 22 in the body of His flesh through death, to present you holy, and blameless, and above reproach in His sight— 23 if indeed you continue in the faith, grounded and steadfast, and are not moved away from the hope of the gospel which you heard, which was preached to every creature under heaven, of which I, Paul, became a minister.